My parents brought my siblings and I forward for Holy Baptism when I was eleven years old. Which means that almost two thirds of my life has now been spent as a Child of God. As I grew as a child into young adulthood within the Lutheran church, knowing and understanding what Jesus has done in terms of His incarnation, life, death, and resurrection had always been clear to me, but there was one particular question that continued to linger in the back of my mind: “Do any of us Christians have it right?” With so many Protestant denominations and so many differing opinions and interpretations of Scripture, and therefore moral teachings, how could all of us be right? In reality, how could any of us be right?

It wasn’t until undergrad, that I finally sank my teeth into studying substantial theological material. I was so excited and hungry to finally uncover the answers to my questions and to be able to “thoroughly attest and give defense to the hope that was in me” (1 Peter 3:15). But rather than finding answers to my questions, I kept discovering new lines of inquiry concerning how all the elements of our faith pieced seamlessly together. I was discouraged by the missing pieces I had but was sure it was just a matter of me finding the answers rather than there not being ones to fill those voids at all.

One of the most dangerous and beautiful things about God is that if you genuinely open yourself up to seeking Him, He’ll uncover more than you ever dared to pursue.

The intent of my journey to deepen my faith was not originally to come into full communion with the Catholic Church, but rather to makes sense of the lineage between the history and authority of the Church, the interpretation of Scripture, and the teachings of Jesus. I felt that in many ways what I had been taught independently about each of these topics made sense, but I struggled to see the continuity in how all of these elements withstood the test of time as one cohesive and unified front.

But our God is a God who reveals Himself to us and draws us unto Him through Jesus in many ways. He’s not a God lurking in the shadows, but a God made present; Who seeks to partake in an intentional and intimate relationship with us. Jeremiah tells us that when we seek God with all of our heart we will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). But with seeking with “all of our heart” comes the inevitable disposition of vulnerability. For three years I sought God with my head, looking for answers, knowledge, and understanding of faith more-so as an object. But faith isn’t an object, it’s a relationship; and until we come into a space of vulnerability with God, He can’t foster the level of intimacy He intends for each of us to have with Him.

It was through developing this intimacy with God that I was able to test and trust the Truth against misconceptions that the world so freely imposes. For the first time, I took the time to really look at the history of the Church; to sift through external influences, to sit with controversial dilemmas, to walk through difficult seasons, and to acknowledge the human struggle of a broken world. And what I found was that, despite everything that has been stacked against the Catholic Church, she has continuously prevailed, just like Jesus told Peter she would.

Jesus not only came to earth to meet me in my humanity; not only did He preach, teach, heal, and reveal the love of the Father; not only did He give Himself up for me so that I may be united with Him forever; but He established a Church that welcomes, washes, encourages, disciples, reconciles, and equips me in living a God-centered and sacramentally strengthened life.

So often we think the most dramatic change is that which happens quickly, or suddenly out of unforeseen circumstances. But what I’ve come to realize is that the most dramatic change sometimes happens when we cooperate with the promptings of the Holy Spirit through very intentional, deliberate, and progressive actions that over time build one upon another. Curiosities to knowledge, knowledge to understanding, understanding to faithful action that continues to develop and be honed into virtues and insights that deepen our relationship with God.

When I started this journey, I thought I needed theological answers to satisfy this desire for greater understanding and purpose in my life. But instead, God used this journey to draw me closer to the Source and Summit of my faith where my understanding and purpose in life flows from, Jesus in the Eucharist. I am eternally grateful to be part of the Church which Jesus established, His bride to which centuries and centuries of God-given revelation and wisdom has been preserved and protected.

This journey of continuous conversion is far from over. And I pray that the fruit of this ever-deepening relationship with our Lord and His Church will become increasingly present in all my relationships with you and by the witness of my life in Him.

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Kristen was joyfully accepted into our community as an aspirant on November 7, 2023.

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We would like to thank Mater Ecclesiae Fund for Vocations for supporting Kristen by awarding her the St. Joseph Grant Award which helps her pay for her student loan debt. With her debt shouldered by Mater Ecclesiae, now Kristen can focus on her spiritual and religious formation as an Aspirant with the Dominican Sisters.

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Please consider donating to the Mater Ecclesiae Fund for Vocations for others like Kristen who are struggling to answer the Lord's call because of educational debt.

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Thank you Mater Ecclesiae!